How to improve your communication


Everyone has already had this experience. We want to discuss something important, but the conversation escalates. Sometimes completely surprising. Right now, when it comes to a lot, we want to have a proper dialogue. But we just do not succeed. Why are so many conversations failing? And what can you do?

Why communication fails so often

Over 90% of our behavior over the course of a day is not driven by rational considerations. It usually runs on "autopilot". The autopilot steers our behavior in a few hundredths of a second, based on emotional assessments, on established behaviors, on our self-image, or our social affiliation with a particular group (e.g., "acting like a cop").

To stay in control of a conversation and have a good dialogue, we need to know the traps.

Improve communication through self-esteem

Whenever there is a lot going on, when there is a lot at stake, we run the risk of getting out of hand. Because we or our conversation partner are afraid to lose a lot. Often the emotions boil up. One of the participants in the conversation feels attacked, unfairly treated or offended.

And of course, opinions often diverge. Everyone wants to be right. If a speaker is convinced that he knows the best solution, he will want to convince the other participants by all means. If all three conditions meet – it's about a lot, the emotions boil up, you have different opinions – the failure of the conversation is almost inevitable. Matchstick and jerrycans!

Fear plays a big role in the breakdown of communication. This can be the fear of losing something important: money, possessions, cherished habits. But also reputation, respect, status or self-esteem. Fear leads to the release of adrenaline. This provides the body with a signal to equip the arms, legs and muscles with additional blood if at risk.

The body switches to fight, flight or rigor (to kill oneself). In this condition, there is not enough blood left in the brain. Rational decisions and intelligent conversations are no longer possible. If you or one of the other callers shows signs of anxiety, stop the call.

There are no reasonable results to be expected. Eliminate the reason of fear. Restore the trust or the respect.

Improve communication through looseness

When it comes to a lot, the inclination to stiffen positions is great. You want a holiday on the beach, your partner wants to go to the mountains. Every millimeter that you or your correspondent should deviate from your position means loss. In such a situation, you are closer to struggle than to dialogue.

Procedure: First, find a common goal of your conversation. Where are you together (Common Ground)? In the example, you both want to spend a holiday together in order to recover from everyday life. Whether you better relax on the beach or hiking is not a matter of destination.

It's just different strategies to reach the common goal. If you can agree on that, all you need to do is to be creative and to find solutions that will do both. But congratulations! From now on you are already back in dialogue. So: Find a common goal. Never talk about positions, but about possible strategies.

Improve communication and avoid quarrels

Disagreements are the most common reason why conversations slip into contention. Everybody knows that he is right. You just have to convince the other one. But that's exactly where the mistake lies. Who wins in a disagreement, which generates a loser. Since no one likes to lose, the dialogue fails.

Maybe one of them gives in more easily, but only to have his rest. The "lawyer" may be right, but he worsens the relationship with the interlocutor. Often not even the opinion wins, which also corresponds to the end of the reality. But the one who can best express his opinion wins. But that is not a measure of the truth.

Constructivists say, "There is no truth. Everyone lives in their own world. "And Einstein once said," If another person, who also has a brain, disagrees with me, then I have to find out why. "The dialogue is:" Represent your opinion as if you knew you truth. But listen, as if you did not know anything. "

Improve communication through common goals

The goal of dialogue is for everyone to equally share their opinions in the common pot of information. Because the more information in the pot, and the more experts contribute your assessment, the better the solutions will be later. Effective communication and dialogue, that is to say, deal with each other in such a way that in the end the relationship with each other is better than before, with better results.

What will help you to get through difficult, emotional situations, back to self-control, rational dialogue and dialogue, you will learn in the next post.

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So write a perfect acceptance speech


You have received an award, been nominated guest of honor or member, or simply retired. The round or the audience expects you to say something now. In order to thank all those involved in the award, a speech wants to be well prepared and the words must be chosen very carefully, because you do not want to step on anyone's feet or, much worse, forget someone.

The list of names

For the preparation of a speech of thanks, a list of names should come first. This list can be divided into two parts, the first part containing the names of the people you need to thank (even if you do not like them), the other part contains all the people you would like to thank. Keep the list flexible enough to add names later.

The why

All the people in the list have contributed to your honor and this contribution should be briefly mentioned in your acceptance speech. This may be the mental support of the parents or the supervisor in his or her capacity as a mentor, but perhaps also sponsors who have been on financial aid. Make a note of each name in addition to the reason why you want to thank this person.

The chronological order

Sort the list by importance and group the names accordingly. Parents, partners or family and financiers always want to be named first. Then all others follow in their respective importance.

The time

An acceptance speech should not be too long. Do not linger too long with the individual, that bores the audience. Take into account the time you have available for your acceptance speech, divide it by the number of people named by name. If you find that the time available is not sufficient, group people into groups and proceed by keyword. Finally, thank those who may have forgotten you.

Introductory words

A short introduction describing why you have been awarded an award encourages all participants to tune in to the following. Small anecdotes are always welcome, as well as a brief outline of your resume and the milestones that have brought you into the position.

Practice the speech

Write your acceptance speech on a piece of paper, or even better on index cards. Key points are enough. Find a "guinea pig" that listens to or practices yourself in front of a mirror. Measure the time as well and move one or the other part down or up.

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Confirmation – What does one give?


A congratulation for the confirmation can be made in different variations. In addition to greeting cards, gifts are also an ideal way to congratulate the young person.

A confirmation is a special occasion in the life of a young person, so the content of a greeting card will be carefully selected. A personal touch, for example, arises when the character of the confirmant is described. Another variant is a self-written poem.

A Confirmation heralds a new phase of life in the life of the young person, which is why the celebrations in most cases are very extensive. For this reason, it is generally advisable to combine a gift for confirmation with a greeting card. So it is still possible to unpack every single gift with a guest, even when unpacking later.

Christopher gifts

In the search for a suitable gift straight people without Christian beliefs reach their limits. What does one give to a confirmant without slipping too much into the religious?

Basically, one can say that a gift does not necessarily have to be connected with Christianity. After an agreement with the parents of the confirmands can quickly emerge, which wishes the teenager is currently moving. At larger festivities, it may well be that the hosts create a gift list in advance, making it easier for guests to find something suitable.

Saint Christopher is considered a patron saint in Christianity, which is why an image of this guardian angel is ideal as a gift for confirmations. The image of this saint is offered in innumerable variations. So the assortment ranges from funny over creative to unusual, which also holds suitable gifts for non-believers for confirmation. A guardian angel can also accompany a lifetime, which increases the importance of this gift.

In addition to bracelets and necklaces, jewelery such as earrings and complete sets of jewelery are also suitable for a confirmation. When choosing it, it is important to pay attention to quality products, as it is normally used for a lifetime. Many jewelry shops offer collections with a Christian background, such as crosses, anchors or the sign of the confirmands. If you prefer a personal touch, you can add a personal engraving to the selected piece of jewelery.

Gifts of money – are they allowed?

Gifts of money have become increasingly popular in recent years on special occasions. But are they suitable for a confirmation or Jugendweihe?

It's fair to say that money is an ideal gift for confirmation, because the parents can do it for their child, or the teenager can decide by himself what he does with "his" money. The recommended amount of an amount is closely related to the degree of relationship and the existing budget. There are no rigid requirements as far as the amount of a sum of money is concerned. Basically, it should not be too much, but not too little, to be considered appropriate.

Due to the growing demand for cash gifts, it has almost become a classic on confirmations to open a savings account. So are ideal gifts of money to finance a later driver's license or other wishes.

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The Top 3 Twitter Shareholders (TWTR)


Twitter, Inc. (NYSE: TWTR) operates the popular Twitter.com messaging platform, as well as mobile app Periscope, which allows users to broadcast live videos. Originally, Twitter developer Noah Glass created a service called Odeo, an early pioneer in podcasting that allowed users to call a phone number and convert voice messages into MP3 broadcasts on the internet. When Apple released the Apple Podcast App, investments in…



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Mutmacher: How is and will women finally stay slim?


Sometimes one wishes to live in a country where fat women are found to be particularly attractive. In Germany, this is currently not the case. On the contrary: thicknesses are often marginalized. It starts with finding a partner and does not stop when looking for a job. But many diets fail. What can be done to finally become slim and able to stay slim?

At the beginning of a lifelong "diet career" hardly anyone will be too fat for no reason. The calorie intake is higher than the calorie consumption, too little exercise meets too frequent and rich meals. It's that simple. At some point the mirror says: Do something! And already starts some young women – often enough as a girl – with the first diet.

The disadvantage (!) In diets is that they work once. You lose weight, often very fast. That first a lot of water and then fat is lost, is known. One knows of the yo-yo effect: the basal metabolic rate decreases; After the diet, the faster you get back to. Who wants to do this already. Do you have the courage to give up dieting in the future?

Question and answer game for a slim line

Breathe through. Relax. Then take a sheet of paper, a pen and draw once in a nutshell. Try not to cramp. Think of it as a kind of question-and-answer game.

  1. Since when do you have problems with your weight?
  2. What have you done so far to get leaner?
  3. Where were the biggest successes, where were the biggest defeats?
  4. Is your desired weight realistic? Does it really suit your personal wishes or the specifications or wishes of other people, such as your partner or even your mother-in-law?
  5. Would you feel more comfortable with the same weight if your body was firmer?

Try to figure out the causes of your overweight. Here, the support of a doctor, nutritionist or alternative practitioner may be helpful to indispensable. Make friends with the idea that you can become slim even without a diet.

Possible causes of persistent weight gain:

  1. A food intolerance and a disturbed lipid metabolism prevent permanent weight loss.
  2. They eat too little – the right thing, so fruits, vegetables, nuts, good oils, whole grains, protein.
  3. Although they eat sparingly, they drink many high-calorie drinks, such as alcohol or soft drinks.
  4. You overeat yourself too often, so your blood sugar levels are constantly on the move. After five meals have been recommended for a while, many experts again recommend three main meals plus calorie-free drinks for hunger in between.
  5. They rarely move sufficiently intense.
  6. They unconsciously sabotage themselves. Those who suppress or misjudge feelings tend to self-sabotage, such as eating attacks.

You can do that to get slim

  1. Let yourself be tested for allergies and for a while consistently do without the allergen. Watch the impact on your metabolism.
  2. Eat yourself properly fed three times a day – with healthy foods. In between, drink plenty of water and non-stimulating teas.
  3. Move a little bit more each day. Make a movement diary and enter everything. Example: Monday – 5 minutes of movement on the stepper, 10 minutes of strenuous walk. Tuesday – 7 minutes stepper, 15 minutes walk, 5 minutes of abdominal gymnastics in front of the TV.
  4. Start loving your body. Maintain each bacon roll extensively with dry brush massage and body lotion. Thank your body for its past performance.
  5. Do mindfulness exercises daily. Recognize all your feelings. So self sabotage becomes superfluous.

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Episode 8×04 of Game of Thrones is the worst rated in IMDb


Screenshot: HBO

Not even the overwhelming interpretation of Emilia Clarke in the final scene could save the debacle that followed the episode in IMDb. The last Stark, chapter 4 of the eighth season of Game of Thrones, is officially the worst rated in the history of the series. And with difference.

With 29,014 votes (a premature, but significant sample), The last Stark has achieved an average score of 7.4 in IMDb:

We have to go to season 5 to find the episode with the second lowest rating: Never bowed, never broken, with an 8.1 This is the infamous episode in which Jaime and Bronn infiltrate Dorne to kidnap Myrcella, a plot that touched the shame of others.

There are no more chapters below 8 and a half, except Winterfell, the first episode of the last season, which got an 8.4 in spite of the scene in which Dany and Jon fly in dragon and then go to bed:

If instead we look for the best rated episodes, there are three 9.9.

The Castamere rains, which narrates the terrible escabechina of the Red Wedding:

The battle of the bastards, that left us (some literally) out of breath:

Y Winter winds, the spectacular revenge of Cersei and probably one of the best opening sequences in the history of television:

But, let's go back to the present. What the hell is going on with season 8, in general, and with episode 4, in particular? Story holes Characters that disappoint. An unusual rush to close the plot. And, by all accounts, a notable lack of George R. R. Martin, who continues to write the book that corresponded to the end of season 4 onwards.

It was clear that it was not going to rain to everyone's taste, but people have many questions for the creators and scriptwriters of the series, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Why did they cut off all reactions to Jon's true identity? We did not see how Sansa and Arya reacted, but neither did what face did Tyrion and Varys. How is it possible that no one, not even Daenerys on Drogon, saw the Iron Fleet? How is it possible that, being in a blind angle or at a distance not to be seen, Euron Greyjoy and his men killed Rhaegal with three arrows? Can the capture of Missandei be less credible? And above all, is there any character worse than Ghost? Why does not anyone caress him ?!

It is possible that the series gives an unforeseen turn in the last two episodes (for example, it is possible that Bran does something different to sitting looking intensely), but it looks like it will close as the plot of the King of the Night closed : with more questions than answers.

We have always known that Game of Thrones would have two endings, that of David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, and that of George R. R. Martin in Song of ice and fire. But if the series disappoints, the end of Martin will be the last hope of nonconformist fans. If you finish the books someday.

PornHub would like to buy Tumblr to give him back his "glory of yesteryear"



PornHub would like to buy Tumblr to give him back

Tumblr would be on sale again. According to our Wall Street Journal colleagues, Verizon Media would like to separate from the microblogging platform and PornHub's adult site would be interested. In an email sent to BuzzFeed News, Corez Price, vice president of PornHub does not hide his interest:

"Tumblr was a safe haven for those who wanted to explore and express their sexuality, including adult entertainment enthusiasts […] There are obvious synergies between these two brands and the value that Pornhub could derive from Tumblr. We are extremely interested in acquiring the platform and look forward to restoring it someday to restore its former glory.".

The last few years have not been easy for Tumblr. After being bought in 2013 by Yahoo for $ 1.1 billion, the site passed into the hands of Verizon in 2017. Despite changes in strategy, the popularity of Tumblr has gradually eroded. Last December, the decision was made to remove NSFW content (Not Safe For Work) that is to say sexual characters, or pornographic platform, in order to comply with the rules of the App Store. The ban included any adult content, be it videos, GIFs or photos. A choice that made the situation worse.

Verizon has not commented on any sales opportunity. The estimated value is about $ 200 million. If discussions are in progress nothing confirms for the moment that a sale will take place.

Is increased discharge normal in pregnancy?


Even though women do not like to talk about it, it's natural for vaginal fluid to leak out. During pregnancy, estrogen ensures greater blood flow to the vagina. The increased discharge during pregnancy is harmless unless additional symptoms occur. Itching or pain is likely to be a bacterial infection.

Why does discharge arise?

The vaginal discharge is a milky-colorless liquid that smells hardly or not unpleasantly. The discharge is annoying but useful. The mucous membranes produce this liquid to kill bacteria. The result is a slightly acidic vaginal environment with a ph-value below 4, in which dangerous germs can not develop.

Outflow during pregnancy

The increase in hormones during pregnancy causes the vagina to be supplied with more blood. This also creates more vaginal fluid. From the 36th week of gestation, the discharge increases significantly, so that bacteria are flushed out and they do not reach the baby during birth. To make sure that the vagina is not burdened with a bacterial infection, the doctor can test the discharge at the end of pregnancy with a swab.

If the vaginal fluid thickens and takes on a slightly reddish hue, probably the birth is imminent. Then the mucus plug has dissolved, the previously closed the cervix.

Health-threatening discharge

The vaginal discharge may also indicate a bacterial infection. In this case, the discharge smells unpleasant and changes its color. You may also feel an itchy or burning sensation, and there may even be blood in the outflow. Be sure to see a doctor if these symptoms appear.

But even if you feel uncomfortable with the discharge, your doctor can test with a simple smear, if there is a health impairment. If there is an infection, the doctor prescribes medicines that will not harm the baby. If a bacterial disease is not treated, it may trigger a miscarriage or premature birth.

wellness Tips

Outflow is an uncomfortable topic for most women. Always remember that unloved vaginal fluid is a useful tool in your immune system. But there are also some tricks to feel comfortable despite the heavy discharge during pregnancy.

  • Do not use waterproof synthetic fiber clothing such as nylon tights during pregnancy.
  • Wear comfortable, tight-fitting underwear made of natural materials such as cotton during pregnancy. Also keep very tight pants hanging in the closet during pregnancy.
  • Put panty liners or thin bandages in the underpants. Hygiene articles without plastic backs are optimal. Change the bandages at least once a day.
  • Do not take tampons to catch the discharge. If you do not change it constantly, there is a risk of vaginal infection. In addition, tampons remove too much moisture and disturb the natural vaginal flora.
  • With excessive hygiene you destroy the natural immune protection. Do not treat the genital area with intimate sprays or vaginal douching.
  • Avoid perfumed shower gels or soap. Wash yourself with a ph-neutral soap. If you take a shower daily, even water is enough to cleanse the intimate area.

Outflow or amniotic fluid?

Occurs at the end of pregnancy suddenly increased discharge
This may also be amniotic fluid. Possibly lies
a rupture or blistering. Go to the doctor immediately.
He checks whether there is a risk. Do not have a wrong one
Inhibitions! In pregnancy, it is always better the doctor
even if the suspicion is not confirmed.

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Writing as a balm for the soul


The everyday problems can not only cause different complaints, but they can also burden the soul. This in turn can have a negative impact on life. This creates a cycle from which there seems to be no escape. People have different methods to deal with their problems.

When can writing help?

There are many situations in which writing can help. For example, when important decisions have to be made. Often, those affected feel confused and do not even know how to decide. The writing down can bring a completely different view on the matter here.

Sometimes writing can help to find out what is going on in the emotional world. Especially after the loss of a loved one or the failure of a love, the emotions run roller coaster and you do not even know what's going on. But even in life crises or problems, it can be helpful to put your thoughts on paper.

In general, it may also be useful to keep a journal in certain life situations. In this important events or even difficult phases can be recorded. Looking back, you will realize later that everything has been done.

Finding the right words

Of course, not everyone has the talent to be in the way to quickly find the right words. However, there is no question that everyone can use the letter as a help and companion. The starting point to start writing is crucial. To find the right words or thoughts, the following questions can be considered:

  • Which situation is currently problematic?
  • What goals should be achieved?
  • What does your own emotional world look like?
  • Why are these feelings present or what was the trigger?
  • What fears, worries or doubts plague you and which are of particular importance?
  • What would be the worst in this situation and how likely is that to happen?
  • How can you better handle the situation?

Some of these questions will certainly not fit all life situations. Find out for yourself what fits and what does not.

How should writing help?

By writing down the problems, worries or fears you set yourself again with the issue intensively. Many people note when writing that they have long had the solution to a potential problem. Or they come by themselves on how the situation can be changed. First and foremost, writing is about writing the frustration and the burden of the soul. Then you can quickly find new ways.

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