If you ask today, the employees of any company is the most requested wish to the executives: Praise more. And frankly and honestly. Because only a really serious common praise reaches the employee too. We notice immediately when we try to fool ourselves – body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and content do not match in the matter.
It is completely useless to use praise as a means for the purpose of motivation. It may work for a short time. But the realization that the praise was purely goal-directed and that the human being was not really meant, is followed by mistrust and thus the exact opposite of the desired goal. A culture of praise in families and businesses can only arise voluntarily. A "regulation from above" – for example, by means of boss-given models – does exactly the opposite. But even the greatest feels small when he experiences the attention of others inadequately.
The question is: How does the praise really work?
It is really easy. Start with Step 1: Praise yourself, If others give you too little appreciation and appreciation, you can do it yourself. By attentively observing and appreciating your good performances. These can be very simple things: The textbook, which you have read faster than planned. A particularly appetizing dinner. The critical phone call, which you have passed with flying colors.
How do you do that best?
Be sure to buy a nice booklet or a noble notebook and give it the name "Success Diary". Every evening at the end of the day, sit down for five minutes and consider: what worked well today? What can I be proud of today? Where have I overcome myself today or tried something new? Write three points in your notebook every day that went well that day because you did something well. You will see that there is always something – because it's also about being more patient with yourself and not always expecting top performance.
As a human, you count for more than just your peak performance. It's the little things that make a worthwhile person – so confess that even little things are worthy of self-praise. Self-praise stinks namely only when we rub it in the face of others under the nose and trumpet it out loud. The selfless praise in the air, however, smells wonderful and gradually provides a great motivational push. Reward yourself by appreciating your good performance in value.
Step 2: Make yourself independent of the praise of others
We like to measure ourselves by the standards that apply to others – or that are applied to us by others. We are allowed to develop and use our own standards. Anyone who struggles to learn a foreign language can only lose by comparing themselves to a linguistic genius. Anyone who measures himself as a creative chaot on the disciplined order fanatic is already lost. Set your own standards.
You know that: A chic new housing estate is gradually being occupied by young families. First, the houses are completed completely outside and inside. Then the gardens come on. Now follows a series of inauguration celebrations, to which the new neighbors are of course invited, because they were on the arduous path until then often help, Kummerkasten or tool exchange. Everything seems wonderful.
But there are first cracks when the task "house + garden" gets into the background. Other things rise up into consciousness again. You measure yourself by what others "have". That's what you want to "own" yourself in order to be one of the winners in this new environment. It creates envy.
Their goal: "being" – that is, having one's own personality – makes them appreciated. Because it is noticeable that the skillfully crafted neighbor or the creative decorator continue to receive encouragement – regardless of whether they drive thick cars or a Aufsitzrasenmäher. So score with your own personal skills and use them cleverly – then comes the next motivational boost all by itself.
And so in these new housing estates usually starts after five to ten years, a cheerful partner exchange. Because many are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their current state and no longer feel valued. Common goals have disappeared or disappeared from view.
Step 3: Do good and talk about it!
It is currently being debated time and again why so few women in management positions are in German companies. This also has to do with the fact that women are harder to clearly mention their own achievements when it comes to recognition. Women are more in need of harmony in the background and do not want to hurt others by putting themselves in the foreground. Men, on the other hand, are wonderful (women can learn a lot from that !!!) in assuring themselves of the general appreciation of their work. What is sometimes referred to as "bragging" and perceived is the cry for attention. "I want to be praised!" Is behind it and a man can shout out loud if need be.
The fact is that someone who points others to their own good achievements, is simply perceived more in their abilities. Without bragging right away. So if you have been handling the complaints in your company for years – then talk about it. Make boss and colleagues aware of what you do for the company: Relaxing disgruntled customers, writing tricky letters, looking for solutions in the company, optimizing processes to prevent mistakes in the future, and much more – all of this you do on a daily basis.
Make it clear to others who would often do this job for no money in the world. Because if it is easy for you, it is often anything but easy for others – and thus a valuable contribution to the company's success.
Create awareness of your value to the company and its colleagues. This is no pride – but simply the demand of your rightful perception. So that the supervisor thinks about you at the next promotion round. So that you can talk about new goals at the next salary talks – because the money comes voluntarily from the boss, because he knows your value for the company. It would be too much to ask that a boss would keep an eye on every performance of all employees constantly. So let him know about things he should know. And that definitely includes good services that you have provided.
If you have achieved good success in the field of self-praise in step 1, then you simply use your motivation boost at this point and go Step 4: Praise your boss and your colleagues, For the sensitive way of dealing with difficult customers or – if you are honest – for the great taste in terms of clothing. That he always puts himself and her colleagues in front of you, when things have gone wrong, or that he is spending a Christmas party in difficult economic times. Lead by example: Praise him and your colleagues whenever you notice something positive. By the steps 1 – 3 you are well trained in mindfulness. And one thing is for sure: praise, which you donate, returns to you. Guaranteed.
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